I need some advice from someone that’s not judgmental and ultimately a hypocrite . I have fallen in love with a great man , kind, attractive and yes the dick game is oh so BOMB , but he has flaws . I am a college graduate and I have a profession and a house and my own things , somewhat of a independent woman . My lover , just got out of the pen and he dosent have much, his education is only thru highschool and he lives with his mom . I met him two years ago when he had certain things but now he has nothing . My biggest issue and fear is that he will remain in the same situation that he is in . I love him tho , and whatever he has he will give me , whatever I need he will try his hardest to give me . He is so kind and such a good boyfriend . I believe in love , but I do believe in the traditional man , a man that can provide as well as an hardworking man . My mind tells me to leave the situation but my heart still wants to be with him . I don’t want to settle for less when I get get so much more . What would you do ?
Dear Miss Ceeceekisses,
There is absolutely nothing wrong with falling in love with someone from a different set of circumstances than you; nor is it wrong to meet someone where they currently are in life. However, the truth of the matter is if you can not accept them as they are RIGHT NOW, you are playing yourself. And here’s why….
More often than not, people tend to fall in love with their partner’s “potential” over who they actually are. Factors such as good sex, generosity, and sincerity account for a lot in a relationship but if your deal breaker hinges upon them changing in any way, the relationship is tainted due to the fact that there is no guarantee that they will live up to those expectations. Then what? Will you resent them ? Will you feel as if they wasted your time?
Ultimately you have to make a decision here…not just about whether or not to stick around, but what is more important to you- love or security? While no one is qualified to tell you how to feel, it is important to recognize that you will have second thoughts about whatever you choose, the trick is to select the choice that you find the easiest to live with.
Hope this helps,
-Chatty Patty 💜